living in a den of thieves

today was one of those days where I'm like...yeah life is fucking halarious and
shouldn't be taken seriously, ever.

at work I'm looking for header cards
in soundtracks and all of a sudden I hear PFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!

in the nudie movie section so I look in that direction thinking that perhaps
something has fallen but thinking that was a fucking weird sound. and this guy
looks at me and says, "um..sorry!" and I think DID HE JUST CUT THE CHEESE? so I
just say "uhh, that's okay." but no..it doesn't end there. he comes up to me and
goes into detail about his far. and says things like:
"I just couldn't hold
it."
"I don't know how that happened, what did I eat today?" while firmly
clutched in his hand are two girls gone wild dvds.
I'm scared so I slowly
start to back away and he just keeps blabbering on! CRAZY. but no, *I* have to
ring him up because everyone else is busy. then I notice this disgusting blister
on his hand that's oozing clear fluid and I'm really trying not to lose my
lunch. he writes a check-I hand him a pen which I would come to throw out later.

later on that evening...this kid comes in and pays for a cd with money that
has been in his dirty sock. he just takes off his shoe right there and fingers
his sock handing dana a sweaty bill. she doesn't see where he got the money from
because she just was on the other side of the counter but I couldn't just be
like DON'T TOUCH THE MONEY right in front of him so she takes it and I cringe.
immediately after I then say she should wash her hands & I explain why.


but I would have to say the most gross thing I've ever had to deal with
at work is baby drool. I cannot stand babies and I certainly do not want their
drool anywhere near me. and you never fucking notice it until it's too late. I
go to handle someone's cds, my grip fails and slime is all over my hand,
continuing the slow and steady process of realizing what you just touched.


moral of the story? : avoid touching anything at all times. develop a
bubble suit designed to protect you.

what a strange week this has been
and it's only monday.
you.

what a strange week this has been and it's only monday. gah!
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